I was meeting with a friend the other day in her office when another friend dropped by. We were chatting about networking. Even though we were friends, there was something that surprised us. Our conversation revealed that all three of us shared a similar cultural background even though we each grew up in different parts of the world. We deepened our connection to one another because of our shared experience. It was an “ah ha” moment.

It reminded me of lessons in networking I learned from two of the masters: Susan RoAne and Boaz Rauchwerger

Discover What You Have in Common

• Ask questions and show your interest
• Begin with easy topics like love or dislike of a particular food, a book, a style of clothing or a song
• Attend meetings and events where you have a common purpose

Show Appreciation

“I sing with a group of about 60 people. We gave a performance on Sunday night. After the gig, most of the group went to a nearby restaurant. I observed the behavior of two of the servers. One insisted that she could only do a group check for the tables she was covering. Our server when asked if we could do separate checks replied graciously that he would be glad to do that for us. He said he would need to go and get a pen and paper and then he would take our orders and that it was his pleasure to serve us. He rose to the occasion – albeit unexpected, and we got our drinks, food and checks easily. The other server was flustered by the sudden influx of people and was not flexible.

Our table of  seven was vocally appreciative of the good service we received. We thanked our server multiple times as he smoothly provided us with an enjoyable experience. His face reflected confidence and ease. The other server had a tight face and voice. Who do you think got a bigger tip?

Give the Gift of Gratitude

Honor those who have helped you and those who are important to you. It can be as simple as saying thank you. Or you could do something special for those people who have helped you.

I serve on the Board of the Bay Area Consultants Network. We volunteer our time. To celebrate our tenth anniversary, our leader, Harry Chapman, surprised us with coffee mugs and baseball hats with our BACN logo on them. It was an expression of thanks that means a lot to each of us. Here are a few photos of Board members in their new BACN hats.

It is nice to be appreciated. People like to be recognized for their contributions.

Go out and deepen your connections.

See how your network grows.

 

Music videos and more specifically, MTV created a new kind of information delivery. Style became more important than content. Watch a few music videos and you will see that ultra-quick cuts from one image to another blur your ability to digest what you see. This style spread to other forms of media. It seems to have became a mantra. I see as an ode to shortened attention spans. This constantly changing imagery might work well as entertainment, but it falls short when applied to building relationships and building your brand.

Twitter, a micro-blog format that uses a container of 140 characters is brilliant. Tweets are teasers. They usually point the reader to the locations of more detailed content. Those who are interested, follow the link. You can’t tell everything in 140 characters, but you can get me interested. Tweets are great at starting a conversation.

Apply the Twitter model to your conversations in network settings. when meeting someone new focus your attention on gathering information and getting them interested in you so you can follow up with an in depth conversation. Try this approach at your next networking meeting.

Become a detective

Ask questions. Listen more than you speak. Here is what I expect you will notice:

• People will be more relaxed talking with you.
• They will enjoy the conversation.
• They will feel special.
• You will learn more about the people you meet that you did when you buried them with information about you.
• You will more easily identify people you want to know better and which ones are not a fit for you
• You’ll be more relaxed
• You’ll have a higher purpose for your conversations
• You’ll have a good reason to follow up with the people you meet

Less is More

If you have trouble relating to the Twitter model of networking, maybe you can relate to the live of legendary Scheherazade. She was able to postpone her imminent execution by entertaining the Sultan with her tales told over 1001 nights.

Keep yourself a little mysterious and people will want to find out your secrets.Reveal them over time to keep them interested, and coming back for more.

 

This is a good time to take stock of what’s working and what’s not in your business. Here’s my list of the top five people and practices I recommend to accelerate your success and reduce stress in the coming year:

Number One:

An accountability partner. This is someone you trust and are willing to share the good and the not so good about yourself and your business. An accountability partner who will tell you the truth, be a shoulder to cry on, and who sees you clearly and is willing to be there for you and you for them is just about the most important person next to yourself in your business. You you need someone who can act as a sounding board, a cheerleader, a den mother, and sometimes just someone who will listen and not try to change you. If you’re like me you’ll go to the ends of the earth when someone else is depending on you. Meet with your buddy frequently, at least once a week, by phone or in person.

Number Two:

A trustworthy  bookkeeper. Follow the money and you’ll see where your passions are now and where your passion generates income.

Number Three:

A professional group were you feel inspired, appreciated, challenged and have fun. For me, it comes in the shape of the Bay Area Consultants Network. I’m not just a member there, I’m on the executive board, and I contribute as a board member to help shape and guide the group. I’m privileged to participate in the general meetings, hearing and interacting with great speakers each month. And I get to eat bacon for breakfast.

Number Four:

Do something fun and maybe a bit outrageous at least once a week. For me, that means singing with the rock chorus, Vox Populi. I love to sing and I get to do it for fun for about two hours every week. It lifts my heart and lifts my spirits. I can be tired and discouraged when I arrive, yet by the time I leave rehearsal, I have a light heart and have shared songs and  laughter. We are singing at a charity event in Sonoma on Thursday night, Larson Winery, 6-9pm. $25 for a spaghetti dinner, live auction and music by Vox Populi and Ten Foot Tone. For more information, to purchase tickets or make a donation, contact Jennifer Sunia at 707.888.0274 or jensunia@gmail.com.

Number Five:

Exercise your mind, exercise your heart and exercise your brain. I do all three at my health club, Parkpoint. When I’m working out I’m taking care of my body and mind. I feel happy and relaxed and this allows me to connect spirit. Of course I’m surrounded by like minded people, most of whom don’t take themselves too seriously. This helps me keep my life in perspective.

What ever you do in life, if you have someone who is on your side, helps you keep track of the money, appreciates you, and a place to laugh, and a place to be just who you are, for me that’s a good life.

 

I recommend asking for testimonials.

I coach my clients in what to ask so they can hear for themselves just how valuable they are to their clients. Yet, when I suggest they ask for testimonials, 99% of the time the first reaction I get is “I know I should do it but…”. What comes easy to each of us may not be easy for others. Getting into the habit of getting acknowledgment for the impact we have on the lives and businesses of those with whom we work requires focus, willingness to receive praise, being vulnerable, and the possibility of being rejected.

I created a checklist of questions to ask to help frame the request for positive testimonials. The protocol is to connect with satisfied clients. Request 10 minutes of their time. Let them know you are planning to interview them and you are going to ask them to approximately 10 questions.

These questions are designed to help you and your clients quantify the results of working with you. Here are the questions:

Quantify Your Results

1. What did it look like when we started working together?
2. How does your business look now?
3. What is the best thing you experienced working with me?
4. What have your clients noticed that is different as we began working together?
5. What were your profits before we started working together?
6. What are your profits now?
7. What was your turnover at the start of our contract (instead of turnover substitute the appropriate business challenge of that company or client)?
8. What is turnover like now?
9. Who do you know who might benefit from working with me?
10. This one is most important — Would you be willing to contact them on my behalf?

You may also choose to take a status or temperature reading of their business as it exists today. Here are questions that can help you get a clear picture of their business:

• What is your income now?
• What is the average value of a client?
• What is the average value of a transaction?
• What is the lifetime value of a client?
• If you broke it down, what are they worth to you:
• Per week
• Per month
• Per year
• How many active clients do you have now?
• How many are inactive?
• How many clients can you handle? per day? per week? per month?
• Describe the gap to between what you have and what you can do.
• Describe the gap between what you have now and what you want in your life and business?
• What do you think is getting in the way of your having what you want?
• What are you committed to doing or changing to get what you want?
• By when?

The Power of Stories

Here is a better way to capture the value of your services through the eyes your clients. Ask them for stories that tell about changes you initiated for them. Document at least a three stories and be sure to include metrics (increases in profit, the savings of time, money, or the reduction of losses, staff, profit) that were used to document progress. And, if you can, record the testimonials in audio and or video format. Then post the clips on your website, on YouTube, your blog, Facebook, LinkedIn, so others can see and hear about you straight from the lips of those who you have helped.

Treasure those stories and incorporate them into your message. Leverage word of mouth stories. Use them  to your advantage and grow your business.

 

Traction is an interesting concept

As defined by Webster’s Dictionary:

traction |ˈtrak sh ən|
noun
1 the action of drawing or pulling a thing over a surface, esp. a road or track : a primitive vehicle used in animal traction.

• motive power provided for such movement, esp. on a railroad : the changeover to diesel and electric traction.
• locomotives collectively.
2 Medicine the application of a sustained pull on a limb or muscle, esp. in order to maintain the position of a fractured bone or to correct a deformity : his leg is in traction.
3 the grip of a tire on a road or a wheel on a rail : his car hit a patch of ice and lost traction.

The word itself contains the word action. Action alone may not produce traction.The right actions will give you traction.

Picture yourself on a slippery highway rain is coming down in fact it may be cold enough that there is ice as well as rain on the road. If your tires don’t have enough tread hydroplane. When your tires are in good shape plenty of rubber and all of the gripping action that comes from plenty of tread you will have traction as you drive across the road. In the fall of 1986, I was driving the Oakville grade on my way to work. Those familiar with this road know it is particularly steep and narrow, and starts high over the Napa Valley.

It was September and we had a light rain the first of the season. This road was part of my daily commute from Sonoma to my job at the Robert Mondavi winery in Oakville. I was quite familiar with the road. The factor I was not familiar with was the oil and debris that had accumulated on the road that made the surface slick from the first rain. I just started my descent from the top of the grade into the Napa Valley. I was startled when I saw a large logging truck coming from the other direction. Reflexively I tapped my brakes and that’s when everything changed. My car lost traction and I started spinning. As soon as I realized what was happening I took my foot off the gas pedal my hands off the wheel and let the car travel on its own. In those few moments of sheer terror as they waited for the car to stop moving I realized just how important it is to be sure my car tires are up to the task of driving under any conditions.

Fortunately for me just the evening before I was watching a program on what to do if you ever are in a spin out in your car. The safety experts recommended the actions I took the very next day. They said if you are in a spin the best action to take is take your foot off the gas keep it off the brake and take your hands off the wheel. Many drivers try to over correct for this span and consequently they lock up the drive train of the car. My actions resulted in my car stopping safely on the other side of the road which happens to be at the edge of a very steep mountainside. I was able to walk away from the accident with a few bruises and scrapes but I was able to walk away. Had I tried to steer the car once it started spinning it is very likely I would have ended up a at the bottom of the mountain.

Your marketing activities may resemble an out-of-control spin. One moment everything is fine and the next finds you in danger. If you assume you have control over the situation when in fact tools enter vehicle are in poor repair and have put you into danger. Granted it’s not likely that you’ll find yourself in mortal danger as I did, but he could be risking the health and success of your business when you lack useful systems and the proper tools to give you traction in your marketing actions.

The five things that will give you traction in your marketing

One: a written plan

Two: schedule time for marketing

Three: measure your results

Four: follow-up consistently with the people you meet

Five: do something positive everyday

Sounds simple doesn’t it? Want to know a secret–it is. What happens to most of us is that we get busy doing and delivering services and we forget the importance of making a plan, a scheduling time to execute the plan, measuring our results, and while we may be busy networking how many of us consistently follow up with the people we met so our investment in networking returns dividends. The last piece, do something positive every day, is there to remind us what we think influences what we do.

Keep yourself from a marketing spin out by incorporating these five simple practices. You will be pleasantly surprised at your results when you start with a plan, purposefully take time to focus on marketing, you measure your results, and grow relationships by following up with people you meet, and every day you put your mind in a positive space and take positive action. Do this, and you are sure to gain traction from your purposeful actions.

 

As Woody Allen said: “80% of success is showing up.”

Albert Einstein said this: “If a is success in life than a equals X. less why plus the. Work is X.; Y. is play; and Z. is keeping your mouth shut.”

Walter Scott had a slightly different take: “If you have no friends to share or rejoice in your success in life-if you cannot look back to those whom you owe gratitude, or forward to those to whom you ought to afford protection, still it is no less incumbent on you to move steadily in the path of duty; for your active excretions argue not only to society: but in humble gratitude to the being who made you a member of it, with powers to save yourself and others.

The way in which you show up makes a difference

This past weekend I was at a party to celebrate the birthday of one of my friends. It was a joyous gathering and yet it was a good deal of reflection about our lives and challenges over the past years. There were several survivors of life-threatening illnesses, financial challenges, business success and all that goes with it. Even positive growth brings with it its own unique challenges and pressures.

What amazed me most about this group is the loving and supportive nature shared by everyone there. At different times some of us are recipients of the generosity and care of others. Our roles change over time and sometimes we are the givers, caregivers, support givers, givers of energy, time, and expertise.

Many of those at the party have participated in a healing circle that meets every week and focuses on healing those present, the families and friends near and far, as they each need and are willing to receive this gift of healing.

On the top of my mind is the challenge facing my dear friends, the Myers,. The past four years have brought unexpected challenges into their lives and now Randy is in the struggle of his life. Although his wife Deborah is usually the one to be giving to others, now it’s time for both of them to be on the receiving end. The group of friends are planning a benefit event to help raise money to pay for the treatment Randy is receiving to help him in his battle against cancer. I have been asked to help with the language and messaging for this event. It is a small part of my love that goes into these words.

For those of you who know and have been touched by either Randy or Deborah or both of them, please contact me at 707.938.2586 if you’d like to be part of the upcoming benefit or would like to contribute to the fund raising efforts.

This incredible network of friends and family is taking shape because as I said in the beginning, we showed up, we share our joys, and we give and receive in gratitude. To me, that is what networking is all about and there is no separation between how you network in business and in life.

 

An effective way to build the habit of asking for referrals begins by giving them to others first!

If you are now or have ever been a member of BNI, you know the philosophy well.  “Givers Gain.”

Joanne Black, author of “No More Cold Calling” says that this behavior stimulates reciprocity in others. She herself has benefited from this habit. Repeat business doesn’t just happen. Staying in touch reminds clients about us and when they have a need for our services, we are top of mind.

Being generous with contacts, resources and help that is asked for and needed builds strong relationships.

Judy’s Ten Eleven Commandments of Referrals

1. Listen to the needs of others with an open mind, heart and ears.
2. Ask for permission before giving information or advice.
3. Confirm your understanding of what people say they need.
4. Respect others as you would like to be respected.
5. Follow-up when you have shared with others, get their feedback on what worked well or what you could do better next time.
6. Give credit where it is due.
7. Ask for what you need.
8. Be specific.
9. Give often.
10. Let others know how they can help you.
11. Express gratitude.

Here is a short movie clip of an exercise based on these principles.

”

“Creating Connections at BACN”
It was filmed at the BACN meeting on June 25, 2010.

“Creating Connections” is a regular part of our meetings, yet each month this segment is presented in a different way.

The purpose of this segment is to bridge the gap between meeting someone at an event and building a connection that is of benefit beyond the moment.

If you would like a one page handout on referrals, send your request to me at info at creative1 dot com

 

One of the fastest ways you can grow your business is through speaking. It gives prospective clients a way to sample you before they work with you. It allows you to reach many people at one time.

At one time Tony Robbins was unknown. He was so committed to becoming successful that he would do three or more speaking sessions in a day until his business took off.

One of my friends, Patrick Schwerdtfeger, author of Webify Your Business, is using speaking as a platform, both live and via recorded presentations, to grow his visibility. It always helps to have a book as part of your credentials and to give you verified expert status. Many authors have created a book by taking their workshop materials and updating or upgrading them.

Finding your audience and getting in front of them can be a daunting task, but there are plenty of organizations who are looking for your expertise. Start with the obvious places like service groups, professional associations and schools. Think about who your audience is and where they are likely to be gathering. You can check your local newspaper for listing of events or go online to see what is happening in your area or region. The local library probably has a reference librarian who could help you start researching who and where to find speaking opportunities.

If you are serious about being a well known speaker, it could be time for you to look at joining a speakers bureau. One that I can recommend for emerging speakers is Speaker Match. Visit their website for resources and ideas you can use to build your speaking into a paying part of your business.

If you have a speaking success story, share it with us.

 

6 Secrets to Successful Schmoozing- Yahoo! HotJobs.

This article is by my friend, Susan RoAne, author of “How to Work a Room.” Before I met Susan, I was painfully shy. 15 years ago, I saw her demonstrate how to make connections with a room full of people, one person at a time. We reconnected this past year through another mutual friend. I was delighted to share her mingling expertise with the Bay Area Consutlants Network as one of our presenters last year.

Because of what I learned from Susan, I find it easier to connect with people everywhere.

Thanks for making a big difference in my life.