Stop Faking It

by Judy Baker on July 14, 2008

I just got back from four days in Dallas at the ewomennetwork annual conference. The experience is still vibrating in my heart and head. The stories told continue to inspired me. I am full of hope. I am full of friendship. I am full of knowledge.

Our speakers were amazing. Each had faced and overcome personal challenges to become stronger, more determined and connected with their communities. I appreciate the exquisite insights they shared.

I met ewomen from across the United States and Canada. Some came to learn. Some came to teach. All came to share themselves – our tears, our real selves and so many brilliant ideas as we joined together in “Wisdom Circles”. Each beautiful, talented woman had a story to share. The benefits of many minds united to solve a challenge was evident through out the conference in large and small ways. There was a genuine outpouring of love and wisdom.

My favorite memory of the past week is laughing with four new friends as we indulged in an evening of Chocolate Decadence (a fund raiser for the ewomennetwork foundation). I laughed until the tears came, and then laughed some more. We shared the stories of our lives, complete with triumphs and challenges without being worried that we would be rejected or made to feel foolish by one another. Inside, a bond was forged and it will grow as we stay in touch over the next year.

Monica Wofford gave a presentation on “Contagious Confidence”. It was so refreshing to hear her say not to “fake it till you make it”. She made it so clear that when what you feel inside is a mismatch with what you show on your face or in your body, it is no secret what you are out of sync. Being authentic is far more attractive than a “game face” that is brittle and stiff.

Show your vulnerabilities.
Be real.
That is when your true confidence shines through.
It is o.k. to be human.

Laughter we learned can make us wealthy. Laughter makes us healthy. Laugher can make us wise. Marci Shimoff, author of “Happy for No Reason” shared her recipe for happiness. She realized as a child she was not a naturally happy person. Her father was. So she pursued a quest to find out what she could do to boost her happiness by changing her habits. She too, made us laugh.

A few of my take aways from the conference: